The Four Types of Love in the Bible

   With February being so dedicated to love, with Valentine’s Day, and the first Sunday’s readings including 1 Corinthians 13:1-13 about how we are nothing without love, I thought I might try to find a little insight on the four types of love found in the Bible. When I asked Google for some help, this website is one that came back in the results: www.biblestudytools.com/bible-study/topical-studies/what-are-the-four-types-of-loves

What Are the Four Types of Love by Heather Adams

   The phrase The Four Loves came from the title of a 1960 book penned by C.S. Lewis. Based on a set of radio talks he’d done two years earlier, the book presents and then explores the notion that humans are able to feel different kinds of love, depending on the situations and relationships involved.

He used translations from ancient Greek, because he knew that language had a large range of words to define what love can mean. The four he chose were: Storge; Phileo; Eros; Agape

Lewis makes the point that all of them can, and often do, intertwine. And, he adds that they are displayed to others at their deepest and most meaningful level when they grow out of a love for God first.

1. Storge (Familial Affection): Storge love is the care that exists between family members, friends, or companions. Longer-lasting, it goes beyond an initial infatuation or attraction. Built on a familiarity between people, the emphasis of storge is on devotion and intimacy that develops over time.

Real-life examples include parents toward children, siblings, spouses, and sometimes very close friendships.  

   Examples in the Bible would be Noah and his family (Genesis 6-9) or The siblings Mary, Martha and Lazarus of Bethany (Luke 10; John 11)

2. Phileo (Friendship): Phileo most often describes a relationship between people, one of generous warmth for another. But in a broader sense, it can also apply to churches and even cities. The basis of this common bond is shared beliefs, values or interests.

An image that comes to mind as an example of this is good friends who look out for each other. But many churches and towns have what they call “sister” congregations or cities. 

   Examples in the Bible would be David and Jonathan (1 Samuel 18) or Paul and Timothy (Acts 16:1-3; Acts 17:14-15)

3. Eros (Passion): Eros love is a the kind of affection is meant to describe a healthy love between husbands and wives. Romance and physical attraction play a part in it. God gave us this kind of desire with the clear instruction to express it only within the bonds of marriage. Scripture clearly tells us that He cares about what we do with our bodies. Believers are cautioned to avoid showing Eros love to anyone but our spouse, so that the choices we make honor God.

    Examples in the Bible would be Part of a father’s instruction to his son (Proverbs 5:18-20) or The King and his bride (Song of Solomon)

4. Agape (Charity): Agape love is probably the most talked about of the four kinds of love. It is the highest, most complete form of affection. God’s love for us is the foundation of this love. And Jesus gave us many lessons about and examples of agape - a strong, selfless and sacrificial love - during His earthly ministry.

The early church actually used the term to describe two separate activities they practiced. One was a sacred rite with bread and wine, similar to the Eucharist today. The other was a regular fellowship meal they held, to which the local poor were invited. Jesus reminded His disciples over and over again that we are called to show this agape to God and to other people, whether they are friends or enemies.

Examples in the Bible are Between God and us (John 3:16; Romans 8:38-39); Between us and the Lord (John 13:34-35) or Between us and others (1 John 3:16).

In The Four Loves, C.S. Lewis explores the nature of love. He starts with the Biblical truth that God is love, and sets out to see how our lives can reflect the different aspects of that. In his book, Lewis wrote: “Affection is responsible for nine-tenths of whatever solid and durable happiness there is in our natural lives.”

He also talks of a maturing process we will ideally go through. First, we make the choice to show love, especially storge and phileo, to others. As we do, our hearts will align more closely with God’s.

As we become more giving in our spirits over time, more of the selfless agape love will naturally pour out of us. And that will lead to blessings for others, and for us. It is a wonderful cycle that can change the world for the better. 

Heather Adams

Contributing Writer

July 08, 2024

(Heather Adams is an author, speaker, and singer living in Connecticut. Heather’s passion is to equip and encourage believers to seek more of God’s truth and to experience more of His joy each day. Her book, Bow Down: The Heart of a True Worshipper is a practical, 30-day devotional about worship based on the writings of King David. Heather's blog, Worship Walk Ministries, offers weekly Scripture passages and insights to ponder. A native New Englander, Heather is settling into her home in the South, trying out local foods and watching for the alligators that live nearby!)

 I want to give full credit to Ms. Adams for this article. While I may have rearranged a few things, this is all her work and I greatly appreciate that she had organized what I was trying to pull together.

 Your Sister in Christ,

 Teresa Cooksey